WHAT I LEARNED FROM DR. IVAN JOSEPH AND LEWIS HOWES

What you think about is what you become.

I’ve heard about sports psychologists, but never been to one. I love the idea of being coached physically, mentally and spiritually. I believe our lives really do matter and because of this fundamental belief, why wouldn’t I want to invest in a coach?

Below are three truths Dr. Ivan shared. They should mess you up. They should inspire you, they should cause you to dig deeper. I know they did for me. I’m going to list them below and then let’s have a chat about them.

The proximity of relationships will determine your destination. The saying goes, “you are the sum of the five people closest to you.” I ask myself all the time who these people are and am I happy with who they are?

Let’s start with the number one most important decision of your life, who you choose to marry?

For me, I chose the best. I married a miracle for sure. You have to remember, when you get married, you are not marrying perfection. You have no idea what or who you are marrying. You are making a decision based on what you “think” you know and what those five closest people to you “think” they know.

When I married Chantelle, receiving a blessing from my parents are Chantelle’s parents was huge. Getting to know those closest to Chantelle was a big deal. It built trust for me and helped me make a decision.

I’m blessed to have wise people around me but also blessed to marry a woman who is so wise and can see so much more than me. I am brash and she is beautiful in every way. Even when she gets mad or yells, she does it with class. That’s a miracle woman.

In regard to number two, I don’t have a business partner per se but I think working somewhere you are proud is a big deal. When I began to find a job in the early 2000’s, one of the things I always gravitated towards were great “brands.” I realized at a young age when socializing and meeting people, where you work really does matter. Because of this, I wanted to not just be proud of where I worked but I wanted my workplace to also “work” for me. What I mean by this is, when you work at great brands like Nike, Apple or Hillsong, your workplace “works” for you. It helps you get into places where otherwise you probably couldn’t go. People respond to your emails quicker. Your “workplace” helps do the “work” for you. I love that and always thankful to work at great companies.

Number three is all about your friends. Who do you share your time with? Who is inputting into your life? Who are you learning from? When you have a 💩 day, who can you call or who is calling you? Who is encouraging you?

As you get older, friends can seem fewer. Especially when you have kids, it’s tough to balance your life and their life but you have to. Not only do I have to, it’s paramount to my growth.

I’d have to say my wife is my best friend. She’s there and sees it all. She still loves me even when I’m brash and say the wrong thing. She is kind when I’m not, she has vision when I’m dejected. I found a great thing when I found my wife and I’m thankful for it.

Because she is my best friend, I want to treat her even better. She’s the greatest, so why wouldn’t I want to give her my best attention? I could go on and on about it and even now reflecting — I’m grateful.

I want to add one more thing from Dr. Ivan Joseph that hit me so hard. He speaks so much on loving yourself. I had no idea the importance of it, the magnitude of loving yourself. It’s not about self promotion but how you speak to you. Here’s what he said, read below.

“I don’t believe loving yourself is about telling everybody else. To me, loving yourself is about the things you tell yourself.” — Dr. Ivan Joseph

What does your self talk look like? What are the things you love about yourself and are you speaking these things to yourself?

I used to write mantras on our bathroom mirror. I’d write stuff like, “greatness is upon you,” or “do something great today,” or “you are a champion” After listening to this podcast, I’m going to go buy those markers again and get back in that habit.

What you think about is what you become. So, why not put thoughts of love and greatness around us every day. If the Bible says, “the thief coms to steal, kill and destroy,” then what are we telling ourself to combat those words?

I know for me, so many times when I make a mistake I say something like, “you suck anthony,” or “how could you have done that?” These are horrible things to tell myself. I’m so hard on myself and when I do that, I instantly know that it’s not serving me toward greatness.

These moments remind me when I was coaching my sons flag football team. Some of the kids were challenged just to catch the ball. Some of them would get so down on themselves when they would miss a catch. Even my own son would put his head down and sulk.

I had to address this immediately. The first thing I would say was, “it’s all good.” Then, when they would drop a ball, I would make them say, “I got the next one.” I wanted them to let go of the drop and move toward making another catch. They needed courage and confidence and it all started with their self talk.

This is a huge lesson for everyone, even me. What am I declaring on my own life today? Am I going to mess up, hell yah I am but what am I doing next? I want to get back up and get the next one and I believe you do too.

I’ll leave this last nugget with you from Dr. Ivan.