Photo by Eckhard Hoehmann on Unsplash

THE BATTLE OF FEELING INFERIOR + MY STORY

Where you put your attention is what you will become.

I heard a few stories today about “inferiority” and how it cripples so many people. In fact, feeling “inferior” is something that really takes hold to people as children.

Have you ever had that thought whispering to you that said, “your not good enough, you don’t have the degree for that job, or that type of goal is for really smart people, not people like you?”

I raise both my hands to all of them. And, believe it or not, those thoughts visit the door of my mind more often than I’d like to admit. So, when I heard this idea of “inferiority” being something that takes hold as a child, I was reminded of my childhood. I was reminded of why so often I feel like this.

Let me share with you a little bit about my childhood. I don’t share this for people to feel sorry for me but rather to inspire and help us all learn to become all that we were created to be.

On January 31, 1988, the Redskins were hosting the Broncos in the Super Bowl. I was 7 years old at the time living on the south side of Chicago with my gramma and grampa (more to that later). I’ll never forget the phone call I received over that weekend from my mom. In fact, I remember the call so well, I could tell you where I picked up the phone and what the phone looked like.

I remember hearing my mom tell me that she was going to pick me up and hang with me that weekend. As a 7 year old, this all seemed normal. I didn’t realize my mom was never around, or the fact that I didn’t have a dad. I was just pumped that my mom called me and wanted to hang out.

Looking back, at that moment, I was a miracle child already. You see, my mom was a bit of a party animal. She was the youngest of 6 kids, growing up in an Italian-Polish catholic home, let’s just say, she was roudy and she was beautiful.

When she fell pregnant (as a teenager), let’s just say, it wasn’t a good look. My gramma and grampa were staunch catholics, however, out of that mess, Gina, my mother, went through with having a baby. That baby was me.

I don’t remember much growing up during that time but I do remember this Super Bowl weekend when she called. You may say, “why was this weekend so important?” Well, let’s just say that — that weekend where her and I were supposed to hang out never came. She never came to pick me up and I would never hear her voice again. She would be gone forever. The Super Bowl weekend turned into a giant party that killed her with drugs and alcohol.

The next memory I have of her is attending her funeral. I don’t remember having any emotions at the funeral but I do remember my uncle taking me across the street and buying me a pack of Rolo. It was a kind gesture. So, February 4, 1988, will always hold a special place in my heart. The day my mom passed on to the next life. I will always love her.

So, when the word “inferiority” comes around, you bet I’ve felt it. I felt it as a boy who didn’t have a father and still have never met my biological dad. I felt inferior as a child who felt dejected that his own mother didn’t want to be with him. However, on the other side of that pain, was miracle.

In the midst of that storm, I was adopted. I was rescued by my aunt & uncle who I now call “mom” and “dad.” And they are 100% and more a mom and dad. They saw something in me. They saw potential and brought me into a whole new life.

So inferiority is a big thing for me. I feel it so much on so many days and have to remind myself — I am worthy — I am enough — I am whole. I don’t have it all together but I do know that life happens “for me” and not “to me.” These obstacles and pains are only pathways to progress for me. It’s a story that is still being written and I’m still learning.

I don’t have it all together in any way but I am grateful for the process. I’m stronger than most human beings because of it. I’m resilient as 🤬 because I’ve faced so much adversity as a child. So many battles in my mind that I have conquered and been defeated by — but I still carry on.

My story is a path to greatness. It will be an inspiration to millions and I believe when the time is right will bring me before great men and women around the world. In the meantime, I will continue to learn and grow myself. I will amplify my positive self talk and use inferiority to motivate me toward greatness. I will smile for all that has been accomplished and laugh at the greatness to come.

I am great.

I am worthy.

I am complete.

I am Anthony.

I am chosen.

I am wise.

love you — a.

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